The Crazed Antics of ShadowClan
by Pipip Cheerio
Summary: Finally updated! With the kits becoming apprentices, ShadowClan has an all new menace to worry about... I mean, who would ever trust POTATOPAW with yew berries? Read and Review, and I'll give you a donut!
1. The Bazooka

Lynxheart sat in the just outside the ShadowClan nursery. GIRkit, Potatokit and Bobertkit came out of the small den. "Hello, kits," said the deputy of ShadowClan, looking rather depressed. 

"Hi, Lynxheart!" The kits mewed in unison.

GIRkit stepped forward. "Can we play with your Bazooka?"

Potatokit glared at his brother. "GIRkit!"

"I don't care. Go ahead." Lynxheart dropped the weapon at GIRkit's paws and padded away.

GIRkit stuck his tounge out at Potatokit. "So there."

"What do you think, Bobertkit?" Potatokit turned to his purple-pelted sister.

Bobertkit sat in silence for a moment. "Uh...I LIKES IT!" She immediately propped the bazooka up on two forked sticks.

GIRkit stared at the bazooka. "Okay, then... how do you work this baby?"

Bobertkit's ears pricked. "OOOO!!! I KNOW!! I KNOW!! PICK ME!" GIRkit stared at his sister. "You simply... turn this knob, pull the trigger stick thingy and--"

"Oh, StarClan," muttered Potatokit, who was standing at the firing end of the bazooka.

"HIT THE DIRT!" Bobertkit and GIRkit ducked just in time to avoid the weapon's back-blast. Potatokit was not as lucky. The small brown tom stood charred at the other end of the bazooka.

GIRkit smiled evilly. "IT WORKED!"

Bobertkit stared at her brother in horror. "POTATOKIT!!!!" Potatokit coughed, fell over and twitched.


	2. The iPod

Maplestar danced around ShadowClan camp, oblivious to her surroundings. She was listening to an iPod shuffle that she had found down by the Twoleg pelts. Maplestar was singing in a very bad falsetto, along to Blake Lewis' "You give love a bad name"._  
_

_"An angels smile is what you sell  
You promise me heaven, then put me through hell  
Chains of love got a hold on me  
When passions a prison, you cant break free_

_Ooooh... Youre a loaded gun  
Theres nowhere to run  
No one can save me  
The damage is done_

_Shot through the heart  
And youre to blame  
You give love a bad name  
I play my part and you play your game  
You give love a bad name  
You give love a bad name_

_Paint your smile on your lips  
Blood red nails on your finger-"_

She suddenly became aware of all the cats of ShadowClan staring at her. "Tips..."

Potatokit burst through the crowd. He sang,

"_A school boy's dream, You act so shy  
Youre very first kiss was your first kiss goodbye!_

_Ooooh... Youre a loaded gun  
Theres nowhere to run  
No one can save me  
The damage is done"_

The rest of the clan joined in:

_"SHOT THROUGH THE HEART  
AND YOURE TO BLAME  
YOU GIVE LOVE A BAD NAME  
I PLAY MY PART AND YOU PLAY YOUR GAMES  
Y__OU GIVE LOVE A BAD NAME_  
_ Y__OU GIVE LOVE-"  
_  
Bobertkit stood in the middle of the clearing and started beatboxing. GIRkit was doing the Doom dance.

Suddenly a RiverClan patrol bounded into the clearing, Cottonstar at the lead. "WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?!?!"

Bobertkit stared at him. "Uh... PICKLES!" She chucked a pickle at the enemy's head and ate another pickle. Cottonstar just stared at the small kit.

Suddenly, Maplestar dropped the iPod into a puddle. "NOOOOOOOOOOO!"

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**Yeah... Oddly enough a few days after i wrote this, my friend almost did the same thing with my shuffle, the singing and dancing, yes. dropping into a puddle, no.**


	3. The Waaaafllllezzzz

Disclaimer: I do NOT own the Warriors Copyright, nor do I own the rights to Invader Zim's GIR. I'm just manipulating them for my own usage.

"GUESS WHO MADE WAAAAA-FLES!" Girkit (I just noticed how much that sounds like 'Irken' lol) burst into the nursery carrying a tray of waffles about a tail-length high. He plopped them down on the ground in front of Potatokit and Bobertkit.

"Waffles?!?" Maplestar burst into the small den. "Somebody has waaaafllllezzzz……" She eyed the stack. Bobertkit sat gnawing on a waffle bigger than her whole body. Maplestar snatched it away from the kit, and started munching. After a few minutes, she spoke. "They would be better with Cool Whip."

"Whippy Cream? I KNOW WHERE IT IS!!" Girkit ran out of the nursery squeak squeak squeak squeak and behind the elders den. "Come on, guys! It's buried here!"

They dug from Sun-high to Sundown. And finally the cry from Girkit came. "WHIPPY CREAM! WE'VE HIT BURIED _whippy cream… … … _**YES-NESS!"**

Maplestar glanced at her apprentice, Pilzeepaw, and ran from the training hallow. Pilzeepaw followed at a distance, fearful that the leader had finally lost it, especially if there was whippy cream involved. He glanced down into the pit, which was a couple of Fox-lengths deep. "Great Silverpelt!" The hole was lined with a thick coating of whipped cream, and all three of the kits were plastered to the walls. "What happened?"

"Bobertkit! Hahaha... pierced one of the! sniggersnigger... cans with her claws and... HAHAHAHAHA!" Potatokit broke into hysterics.

"Boom!" Bobertkit pryed her head of the wall of the pit. "LEZZDEWITAGEN!!!"

By this time, Maplestar had reached the bottom, and was very carefully bringing the many cans of whippy cream back up to the nursery. "Let us eat WAFFLES!" she cried. Girkit cackled as a waffle iron sprang out of his head.

Moonhigh came to find Maplestar, Girkit and Pilzeepaw sitting in the middle of the camp. Pilzeepaw was dozing with a look of contentment on his face, while Girkit ran in circles trying to catch a cupcake that was tied to his antennae. "Girkit," Maplestar burped. "Your waffles have sickened me... Fetch me the BUCKET!"

"WOOHOO!" Girkit ran out of sight.


	4. The Preview

Disclaimer: I do NOT own the Warriors, GIR or any cheeze whiz... sniff Oh well... I GOTSA TACO!

**This one is in Trailer format... OH CHA!!!**

* * *

Cool Voice Over Dude Person Mabob: (serious) Deep in the forest...

(_Camera zooms slowly into the new ShadowClan home; Dramatic music)_

CVODPM: (serious) There lay an evil...

_(Camera pans around ShadowClan camp; Music Continues;)_

CVODPM: (serious) An evil so large...

_(Camera zooms into the nursery; Music stops; Screen goes black)_

_(Lynxheart rips through the blackness; revealing the camp behind it) _

Lynxheart: ITS PURE INSANITY! GET ME OUT OF HERE!!! _(Runs off screen)_

_(Camera zooms into the camp, nursery entrance)_

GIRkit: Let's go! _(GIRkit, Bobertkit, Potatokit run behind the Elder's den, falling into the hole)_

CVODPM: (cheerily) Full of action!

_(Clip of Potatokit sissy-fighting with a squirrel)_

CVODPM: Laughs!

_(The kits plastered to the wall of the hole)_

Bobertkit: LEZZDEWITAGEN!!!! hehe...

CVODPM: Romance?!?

(_Bobertkit and Pilzeepaw walking away from the camera; tails intertwined)_

CVODPM: This year's best up-coming comedy, written by Maplestar herself! _(Very fast) _starringabunchofrandomtoadsincatsuits allvoicedbymaplestarghostkitandmooseantler.

(_Big green letters flash across the screen)_

_**COMING APRIL 21st, 2010**_

* * *

Potatokit starred up at the screen. _Pppphhhhhbbbbttt!!! _He sprayed the soda he had had in his mouth all over the small theater. 

**Pip looked down in surprise. "Okay... I'm confuzzed. A: Who gave the kits soda in the first place? and B: WHERE DID THEY GET THE THEATER?" Her eye twitched. She picked up Bobertkit, sat in her chair, and held the small purple kit in her lap. Bobertkit fled. "COME BACK!!! I WUVZ U!"  
**

"That has got to be the STUPIDEST movie! EVER!" Potatokit left the theater.

"I dunno..." said Bobertkit, cuddling up to Pilzeepaw.

The house lights in the theater went out, and **CHARLIE THE UNICORN **began playing

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**Okay... Tell me whatcha think! Reviews are nice yesh.**


	5. The Dream

**At last, the next installment of "The Crazed Antics of ShadowClan" Can i get a Wooty Woot? (This is where you all say "wooty woot"... Why do I only hear Deputy Cricket? -when i post the screenplay you will understand-) I am working on it. Will post in April.**

**Disclaimer:I do not own Warriors, GIR, or the little pink trikey. The trikey is Hawkfrost's (LOL evilkillerprincess!)… I also do not own a box of Eggo Waffles but you learn to live.**

GIRkit ran across the clearing, slipped on a patch of ice and landed with a THWAP on his back. He blinked, and smiled up at Pilzeepaw. "Imma gonna roll around on the floor for a l'il bit, 'kay?" He launched himself across the clearing and landed on his belly. He rolled over and over, spinning in circles.

Pilzeepaw stared at the kit. "You... you scare me... Just a l'il bit..." GIRkit bolted upright.

"IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII'M COLD! SOMEBODY LICK MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!" He shook his little metallic booty in Pilzeepaw's face. The apprentice winced. "You're cold too!" GIRkit observed. "Your fur is blue!"

Pilzeepaw groomed his chest defensively. "In case you hadn't noticed," he hissed, "It's always been blue." He stuck out his tongue. GIRkit immeadiately slapped his arm onto it.

"Haey!" Pilzeepaw yowled. He tried to remove GIRkit's arm, but he was stuck. His eyes widened in fear. "Nwooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo! U'm Schtuck two Gurken! Dis iz HOWWIBOWL!" His gaze flashed to a little pink trikey that sat across the clearing. "Wiwwypaz!" He gasped. "Gurken! Wyd duh twikii und git Wiwwypaz!"

"Oooky dokie!" GIRkit purred. His feet scrambled against the snow, but Pilzeepaw's weight slowed any progress. When he finally reached the trikey, Pilzeepaw was being dragged across the nettled ground.

Bobertkit discovered the pair's predicament. She flicked Pilzeepaw over the ear with her tail. "Didn't your mother ever tell you not to lick frozen metal?" She teased.

"Ren I ruz uh ked, Dewr ruznd ennie cowd meddle tuo ick." Pilzeepaw murmured.

"Hey, Lionfang! Could you gimme a hand?" Bobertkit squeaked.

The rather large warrior padded across the clearing. He studied GIRkit's arm. "Thou hast gotten thyself into quite a horrid conundrum." He paused. "Wouldst thou inquire of mine assistance?" He sipped from a cup of Earl Grey Tea.

GIRkit eyeballed the teacup and gasped. "You gonna make biscuits? Yooouuu gonna make Biissccuuiittss?? YOOOOOUUUUU GONNA MAKE BIIIIISSSSSCC--"

"GIRKIT! SHUT UP!" Bobertkit yowled at her brother. She cuffed the side of his head and he went into battle mode. "Okay, Lionfang. Sit on Pilzeepaw." Bobertkit ordered.

Pilzeepaw's eyes went wide. Lionfang was known for his wide girth. "Nwwooo!" He mewed pathetically. "Enniefink butt faatt!" But he was too late. With a "As you wish, mine lady," Pilzeepaw was pinned under Lionfang's gargantuan rump.

Meanwhile, GIRkit had been preparing for an epic battle. He had a look of extreme rage on his face. "**_Prepare to be annihilated_**," he said in a computerized voice. He blipped briefly into duty mode, "Ding!" and flashed into battle mode once more. His arms whirred as plasma blasters were engaged.

He charged toward Bobertkit. There was a faint _rrriiiipppp!_ and Pilzeepaw screamed. GIRkit stopped, immeadiately shifting into duty mode. He began waving his paws like a chicken with its head cut off. "Whhhhyyy is there a tongue on my arm?? Whhhhhhyyyyy is there a tongue on my arm????"

Pilzeepaw screamed again, waking the entirety of ShadowClan. "Hey!" screeched an elder. "We're trying to sleep over here! Shut yer yap!" Pilzeepaw's eyes flashed around the snowy clearing to reassure himself. He layed his head on his paws and stared dazedly across the clearing. Through the lightly falling snow, he could see GIRkit riding in circles on a little pink trikey.


	6. The Squirrelies

**Finally, an update by me! Sorry it took forever... I'm working on a lot of other things... _Quiero comer la silla pero no puedo. Voy a practicar alli._**

Bobertpaw, Lynxheart, Girpaw and Lionfang padded onto the shore of the lake. It was the first day of training for the new apprentices, but Potatopaw was back in camp with Lilypads learning special "medicine cat things".

"Today," Lionfang meowed in authority, "Thou shalt learneth and or mastereth the ways of THE FORCE."

Bobertpaw's ears pricked. "Whazzat?"

Lionfang puffed out his chest. "'Tis an omnipotent force which controls everything in the universe. As a warrior apprentice, THE FORCE is strong with thee. Alas, medicine cats lack the abilities to manipulate THE FORCE. 'Tis a shame."

Bobertpaw hung her head. "Poor Potatopaw."

"I HEARD THAT!"

"DOOKIE!" Girpaw squealed towards camp.

Lynxheart blinked twice. "Ooo-kay then… Let the training begin?" She hesitated before handing the apprentices light sabers. Girpaw immediately swung his around, nearly clipping Lynxheart's ear with the greenish blade. Bobertpaw jumped back, dropping her purple sword on her mentor's foot.

Lynxheart winced. "YOU ARE THE WORST APPRENTICE I HAVE EVER HAD!" She grabbed a blue light saber and rushed at Bobertpaw.

"Hey! Girpaw lifted the warrior with THE FORCEand slammed her into a tree. Squirrels dropped onto her head and began dancing around Girpaw.

"And all the squirrelies say 'he's pretty fly, for a Jedi!'" Lionfang sang in an annoyingly high-pitched voice. Lynxheart gave her brother a sour look. He hung his head. "Sorry…"

* * *

**Review and I'll ship a donut to your current location... xD**

Girpaw watched the squirrels run into the forest. "SQUIRRELIES!" He ran after them.

"Aw, crap…" Lionfang stared after him. "GIRPAW! COME BACK!" He disappeared into the forest after his apprentice.

Lynxheart sighed. "I told Maplestar her Star Wars obsession was a bad thing! But noooo… She had to go and blow my Skittles money on these freakin' force action light sabers!" She kicked the toy into the bushes. "Mouse-brained things aren't even real…" Her bobbed tail wagged angrily as she muttered under her breath.

Bobertpaw padded up to her mentor. "I've got a giant piggy bank… Wanna go buy some Skittles?" She pulled out her piggy bank and shook it over her head. It made a cool jangly noise.

Lynxheart's eyes lit up. "You would do that? For me?" She hugged the apprentices head. "YOU ARE THE BEST APPRENTICE I HAVE EVER HAD!" They ran in the opposite direction, to the nearest Twolegplace.


End file.
